By Lisa Selvage | Realtor® | Muskoka Lifestyle & Real Estate
Being someone’s Power of Attorney is part legal, part emotional. I didn’t fully understand what it meant until it was my turn with my mom.
This is a glimpse into what that journey looked like for us, and a guide for others going through something similar.
💡 Step 1: Know Your Role as POA
Start by understanding exactly what you’re responsible for. In Ontario, being a POA means you’re making legal and financial decisions when your loved one can’t. That’s a big responsibility. I highly recommend getting advice from a lawyer early so you know where your boundaries are and what steps you’re allowed to take.
❤️ Step 2: Be Ready for the Emotional Side
This part is hard. My mom started in her own condo, then moved in with me, then to a retirement home. Each step came with new challenges. Eventually, she needed hospital care while we waited for a spot in long-term care. It took three months to get her into a good facility close to me. That was important so I could be there often.
No one really prepares you for how emotional this can be. You’re helping someone you love through one of the biggest transitions of their life. It takes a lot of strength.
🏠 Step 3: Getting the House Ready to Sell
Selling the family home isn’t just business. It’s emotional. That house holds memories, and it’s not easy to start packing it up. I wore both hats during this process—the daughter and the realtor.
We had to declutter, clean, and get the home ready to show. I know the market and what buyers look for, but doing it for my own mom was different. If you’re in this position, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even as a realtor myself, I can say that having an outside perspective makes a big difference.
🧾 Step 4: Take Care of the Legal and Financial Pieces
Meet with your lawyer and your financial advisor. You’ll want to make sure you’ve got everything lined up—from title ownership to taxes to how the sale proceeds will be managed.
Be clear, keep good records, and be prepared for questions from other family members. Sometimes these situations bring out strong opinions, especially around finances or inheritance. Just remember why you were chosen to be POA and keep focused on doing what’s right for your loved one.
🛏️ Step 5: Finding the Right Care
My mom’s care needs changed fast. We went from independent to assisted living, then enhanced care, then hospital care, and finally a permanent long-term care facility.
Each stage was a learning curve. We toured homes, asked questions, and made sure she would be well looked after. Look into how facilities handle things like dementia support, medication, and daily care. It’s not just about the place, it’s about the people.
📦 Step 6: Start Sooner Than You Think
Start earlier than you think you need to. Long-term care placement can take years, and preparing the home and finances takes longer than you think. Speak with elder care coordinators, your loved one’s doctor, and any community health teams who may already be involved. They can guide you through assessments, paperwork, and placement options.
For the home, work with a real estate lawyer who understands POA sales and a realtor who has experience with family transitions. If you are the realtor, consider bringing in an additional agent or assistant to support you so you do not carry the emotional and logistical load alone.
Connect with support organizations like the Alzheimer Society. They can help you understand what to expect, provide emotional support, and share practical tools for navigating changes in memory, personality, and behaviour.
Also consider connecting with:
-
A financial planner who understands retirement and care funding
-
A downsizing or estate transition company to help with home contents
-
A social worker or counselor for yourself, because caregiving is tough.
Planning early gives you choices instead of scrambling under pressure. And when you are the one guiding your loved one through this, having a team around you matters more than you realize.
My Takeaway
Being my mom’s POA wasn’t easy. Some days I felt overwhelmed. Other days I felt proud that I was able to be there for her in the ways she needed.
If you’re on this path now or see it coming, you’re not alone. Reach out if you need someone who gets it. I’ve been through it and I’m here to help however I can.
📩 Let’s walk it together 💛, Let’s connect.
👩🏻💼 Lisa Selvage | Muskoka Realtor® | Lifestyle Property Expert | Let’s connect!
-
📞 705-644-9277
